Looks like I've finally made it to the realm of the King of Cups. My deck of cards awaits me to listen and learn. It's been through a clean shuffle and a full moon cleanse.
I was pretty excited to get going on this journey, especially considering it landed on a New Moon in Leo. But old habits die hard, and I continue to find myself stuck in a variety of patterns that sunk me to the bottom of this ocean to begin with.
My work begins with The Wheel of Fortune. The ups and downs of life; sometimes we're at the top, other times we're at bottom. We're either rising to the top enjoying the ride, or making fast work of hitting bottom, thankful if we can land on our feet. I'm of the later transition, but find comfort in the fact that on I can get off this roller coaster, and really start working on some emotional healing.
The Wheel of Fortune in Cups - The Ups and Downs of Emotional Healing
Here's the deal, I know I have a lot of work to do, and I really need to narrow it down to what I actually want out to this journey. I love that my significator card is the King of Cups, as his whole purpose within the illuminati deck is for you to heal. My emotions have been all over the map this past year, leaving me in a puddle of despair. Fortunately this puddle of mine can be absorbed into the vast realm of the Ocean. Had it been the King of Pentacles, I would have been sucked up in a murky mess of pity.
What I want at the end of this 11 weeks is to feel balanced. I want to feel like I have better control of my emotions in the face of change, chaos and disappointment. I want to be able to look at the situation and not internalize it. I don't want my emotions sitting on my hips.
"I want to feel like I have better control of my emotions in the face of change, chaos and disappointment."
If I were to summarize how I feel right now, I feel like death. I've gained a shit ton of weight, have been relying on some really bad habits and have just let myself go. I have no pride in myself right now. I am moving through the motions. Unfortunately, my emotions are making things so heavy, I'm at a point now treading water is no longer doable.
So I guess, the fact that I'm at the bottom of The Wheel of Fortune is a good thing, because that means I don't have to be on this ride any more. I can finally get off. I'm scared though, because I've been on it for so long, I have physically morphed into inability. Like legit, I should probably go see a doctor, but I'm going to see how some serious emotional healing will affect my physicall well being.
Here we go, The Wheel of Fortune, I like that you're my starting point. I've been on your crazy-town ride, and I'm over it... shit, I'm not even afraid of heights anymore!! I've been achy, down and nauseous for long enough. Time to reconnect to the flow within.
Forever Duende,
Amanda